Thanks for all the advising
I do drawing and painting primarily, my style is playfully abstract / whimsical...
I think it is correct that I am trying to please others, but I also think that they have a psychological 'hold' on me that hurts any of my artistic confidence... I shudder at the arguments I had with them when they said "this is only a hobby! you will never succeed if you draw pictures all day"
Lately I've been trying desperately to find something I can fall back on if I dropped from university, but I donno where to begin. I feel that if I left uni and worked a part time job I'd feel in a dead-end and as a disgrace to the family.
At least with uni there is a 'prestige' that makes you feel like "I only need to be here for one or two more years then I'm set for life" ... but everything and everyday in uni feels like there is a giant stone in my way, and I feel hindered, not empowered
As to the question, how do I know if I'd really want to go this route... I'm not sure. I know that I'm only really alive when I do creative art. And to somehow live off this creative inspiration would be a heaven. Yet the engine doesn't run 24/7... there are always periods when it is not here, and I wonder if it will ever come back. Then there are periods of magic.
Can't deny that I also want to spite everyone who says "this is not what somebody should be doing with their life" ... every of these options are paved with uncertainty. Find myself sleeping all day lately, leaving lectures in the middle, and dreading to wake up. argh
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