Thanks for all the good/bad comments... I'm taking it all to heart. My personal favorite is 'illustrations.'
I'm stuck in this rut, rather than facing up and making any kind of decision, I'm escaping into the fantasy world of TV or internet or junk foods. As if I am waiting for a miracle to occur, and until it does, I'll remain in some state of denial. I imagine this can go long as long as it does. I will come home with failed marks on all my classes because I can't even attend class... Then what?
I wish I could attend... then I could actually earn my bad marks, but I fear the disapproving stares of these professors.
Maybe this would be all good and well so long as I dive into my own work, but with such feelings of disorganisation I can't bring myself to do anything. It's as if I'm waiting for something that I already have... some sort of blanket... at the very least an emotional blanket
I e-mailed my professor and say "I haven't been able to attend due to personal reasons, but I would like another chance." He never responded and I didn't go to class anyway. They don't e-mail me back. The whole thing with uni, and parents, and everything... I find to be just one gigantic *@#* fight.
Sorry to write this boring *@#*................ In hindsight I will laugh... will laugh just so long as I find a blanket to wrap myself around... In the meantime it's like the guy who pushes the giant stone up the hill over-and-over-and-over
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