Then the nice ones in my residence building, it was as if I had a drug or substance abuse problem --- they came together, three of them and sat me down....... They themselves didn't sit, but they told me to...
To be fair, my room only had one chair, but still --- three standing, and one sitting, I never had a chance.
"You don't want to ruin your life."
It was like a sci-fi movie, like invasion of the body snatchers.... actually a better analogy would be Brokeback Mountain... gay in a straight life, "no college = no life," but they don't know any better(?)
And I wonder if maybe this is worst than a substance abuse problem, because it's not something that I can just "quit" .... I'll spew blood if they chop off this extra arm, and I don't want to be without it...... Is this denial?
I was so happy, so content, I just needed time, and finally I'll have it..... And the stigma attached to "artist" is so.... pretentious.... they give you this "one eye-brow up, one eye-brow down" look... It's a stigma worst than morman, even worst than jehova's witness.
I'm not the confident type, otherwise these verbal threats to my manhood would be morphed into a stronger conviction... Instead I'm just some confused, young *@#*... I'm sorry to write two big thesis-papers in a row here, but I have nowhere else to turn. Even my kin around my parts, the other peers, they're into this whole thing... They give me that "one eyebrow up one eyebrow down" look too! I swear, my comfort lately is the music of Bowie and the peanuts of M & M's...
Valentines Day indeed
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