Subject: Hey, what's this place? And why Miller?
I'll tell you what worries me. Just the other morning I found a Genuine Miller Draft bottle cap on my front porch. Nobody at this house drinks beer or anything like it. The porch is not near enough the street for someone to have thrown it. Hmmm. Sounds like aliens to me. I didn't know they drank Miller, though.
Seems like aliens could drink whatever they damned well pleased. Just hover over the Courvoisier distillery and beam up a case of the good stuff. But Miller? This, to my way of thinking, proves conclusively that aliens have no taste.
Had aliens been drinking, er sipping, Courvoisier instead of guzzling Miller Genuine Draft, they may never have crashed those flying saucers out at Area 51. Think about it.
I'm going to start a new group: MADA (Mothers Against Drunk Aliens). Who wants to join? We'll push for a police crackdown on this problem. The cops'll start giving out tickets, and there will be stiff fines for (HWI) Hovering While Intoxicated and (OASWUIM) Operating an Alien Spacecraft While Under the Influence of Miller.
Let me hear your thoughts on this, as I'm quite serious, you know.
Ron Marshall
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